Man's best invention

Man's best invention, this bubbly concoction
A few times too many, now its an addiction
You just need a little to talk to that girl
Not too much or it'll make you hurl
Easy, easy, you still want to be able to walk
Is it just you, or are people starting to gawk?
Have they never seen you this way before?
Now you're basking in it, confidence galore!
"Hey, that's a nice rack you have there".
You get a left hook to the nose, but you don't care.
The music gets too loud, and you start to sweat
Tonight a bloody nose is all your going to get
Where did that llama come from?
Why is this guy calling you Tom?
It all becomes too much, you have to leave this bar.
You need to find your shirt so you can get to your car
The room is shaking side to side, you can't find it anywhere.
Screw the shirt, all it did was make people stare.
Out on the street, lights flash, red, blue and white.
"Good Evening Officer, isn't it a lovely night?"